I Went to the Edge to Find My Fire

The Child

I grew up in the forests of Finland, gravel roads, pine trees, and silence. They called me a wild child. And I was. Fierce, free, full of fire. But under the surface, I was deeply sensitive. I felt everything. The energy in the room. The tension behind a smile. The invisible currents that no one else seemed to notice.

I got into trouble a lot. I spent countless hours in the principal’s office being shamed for my behavior. And yet, I rarely understood what I’d done wrong. I just learned to nod and agree, to tell them what they wanted to hear.

Back then, ADHD was just something they called kids who couldn’t sit still or follow rules. There was no context, little compassion and no curiosity. Just labels and discipline.
But now we know better.

Today, we understand that ADHD and other behavioral diagnoses are linked to an underdeveloped orbitofrontal cortex, the part of the brain that governs emotional regulation, short-term memory, and impulse control. And we know that this part of the brain is built in the earliest years of life, shaped through one thing: attunement.

Not love. Not presence. Attunement.

A child’s brain physically wires itself through the emotional feedback it receives from its caregivers. A parent can be physically there and even deeply loving, but if they’re struggling with depression, trauma, financial stress, or if they themselves were never truly seen as children, then they may not be able to fully attune to their child. They won’t be able to meet the child in their raw, messy, authentic truth.

And when a child doesn’t receive that kind of deep, energetic mirroring, the orbitofrontal cortex doesn’t develop properly. And it creates a rupture. For a sensitive child, that rupture becomes a wound. That wound becomes a pattern. And that pattern can easily be called ADHD, or anxiety, or “bad behavior.”

Today, mainstream belief says ADHD is hereditary. But no single gene for it has ever been found. What has been found is a cluster of genes linked to sensitivity, genes that increase the likelihood of struggling with emotional regulation, neurodivergence, and trauma when the environment isn’t safe or attuned.

So what is hereditary is actually sensitivity, which means the child will pick up on the smallest lack of attunement.

And with that kind of sensitivity, the trauma can start before we’re even born—in the womb.

The Fire

Like many, I learned to cope in the only way I could. I found drugs early.
I ran with the wrong people, got deep into criminal activity, started dealing, and I became addicted to opiates for ten years. What I thought was a lifeline ended up burning everything to the ground. My health, my joy, my life. I watched many of my friends die. Somehow, I didn’t.

It took me multiple rehabs, and a rock-bottom so deep I didn’t know if I’d make it out, to finally face the truth: I wasn’t broken. I was buried. Buried under layers of pain, shame, and fear.

So I made a decision. I would dedicate my life to the evolution of self. I would find the root and reclaim who I really was.

The Healing

I spent years diving into the inner world, into the body, the mind, and the soul. I studied Eastern spiritual traditions, Western psychology, trauma work, and sacred medicine. I sat in ceremony with shamans. I trained with monks. I worked with doctors, therapists, and mystics. I gave myself fully to the work and apprenticed with these masters for many years.

And slowly, I began to unravel. The mask fell off. The patterns cracked open. The fire that once destroyed me became the fire that forged me.

Through this journey, I’ve had the privilege to learn not just how to survive, but how to return. How to reclaim the body. How to rewire the nervous system. How to come back into presence, power, and purpose.

Why I Do This Work

I’m not a therapist. I’m not here to “fix” you.
I’m here because I’ve walked through the fire. I’ve lived the chaos and made it out the other side. And I know the map, not because I read it in a book, but because I walked it with blood on my feet.

Now, I walk with others.
Not from above. From beside.

If you’re ready to go all in, to face yourself, to heal from the root, and to rise into your power, then I invite you to join me.

This is the path of full embodiment.
This is the path of becoming you.